People change and people grow.
I don’t really know the difference anymore.
Am I changing or growing?
for the better or for the worse?
I just want to grow into a responsible person. someone who obviously does work for God. someone who proclaims their faith. someone who can be trusted with anything. someone who you can come talk to when you need help. someone who loves, cares. someone who is passionate for things. someone who is real, true.
I want to be a better friend, daughter, sister.
Hopefully I am taking a step towards these things, but lately I’ve been getting the feeling that I am taking a step away..
posted 7 months ago with 1 note
I’ve figured out that when life has you down and you don’t show it, there is no one to help you. You go into your own little world of self pity and find every little detail that’s wrong with your life. You see the worst of people, the worst things of the day. No one will come to help because they don’t know you need a hug or a smile or an encouraging word. God is there for you, smiling, but you shrug Him off.
So I’ve learned that your mood and happiness is entirely up to you. Once you choose to be happy, you can finally see God’s smile. I choose to be happy every day. I choose to love the sound of rain against my window instead of dreading the wet and cold. I choose to see the best of people and always expect them to do the same to me. Some may call me over optimistic, but I often sit and reflect on how evil this world is.. it upsets me greatly, but instead of wallowing in self pity and being scared, it’s time to embrace life and bring a smile to those who need that smile, hug, or words of love.
posted 7 months ago with 6 notes
This morning I went to a soup kitchen before school. I realized that I was kinda scared because this soup kitchen is in such a bad place of town and who knows what kind of people would be in there. But that’s why I think God was calling me to go. I always had this idea in the back of my mind that somehow people in poverty had gotten themselves into the situation. I know this is terrible to think, but as a middle class person, the idea has been kind of drilled into my head. I always have felt a need to help people in poverty, but perhaps this thought in my head and the lack of opportunities prevented me? I am not really sure, but after today, I realized I need to abolish this thought.
I put the potatoes on the plates for everyone in line. It totally shocked me how many people were there. It made me very sad.. Only a few people in the line talked to me. I was hoping to get more social interaction with the people. I scanned the faces of everyone there; you probably could never tell that most of them are homeless or in poverty or struggling.
Today reminded me of the quote “Every life is beautiful.”
One man asked me for extra potatoes because he said he was a “meat and potato” type guy. He was making jokes and I thought he was really funny.
Out of all of this, I understood that I need to be doing this; helping people. We are all humans. We all need to be treated with respect. It is beautiful that people are helping other people, in places such as soup kitchens. It’s not beautiful that there are people like me, with a warm bed at night, a house, a yard, a catholic education while other people get nothing.
I love doing service work. Honestly, I don’t like being spoiled and getting a lot of things I want. It’s just not fair when there are people who can’t even eat three meals a day. This reality makes me extremely sad, and I really hope I can make a difference in this world.
posted 8 months ago with 5 notes
As I passed my neighbors, who recently lost a loved one, I held my breath, my tears, my feelings as my mind wandered. It must be so hard for them. I couldn’t even begin to fathom their pain. As I left their house behind, I began to think about my life. I just want to give people hope, a reason to keep going on happily, a reason to love this world. I don’t do anything to help others really.. it’s all about me. I keep realizing this lately. Maybe it’s a call from God for me to stand out, to make a difference. But I don’t know how. Maybe my running gives people hope. Maybe when they see me pass by with determination and pain on my face, they realize that they can keep going, keep pushing, even though it’s hard, even when they feel hopeless. I want so badly to make a difference. I see people in school with scars on their arms. I see people who walk around aimlessly, people who drink and abuse their lives on the weekend. It kills me to know I can’t do anything for them. It’s makes me sad to think they feel alone, when I constantly feel so loved. I just want to change this world, make everyone see God for who He is, make everyone happy, but I know I can’t. For now I am just going to have to smile at them, say hi, and hope I made their day better. For now I am just going to have to be myself, try to make others understand that it’s not all about me or you or him. It’s about all of us really.. because without every single person on this planet, the world wouldn’t be as special.
posted 9 months ago with 9 notes
Okay, I know there are problems in ‘society’ and we all complain about them, but we don’t have to follow society. I mean, really, we are society. Haven’t you ever considered that?
We don’t have to be skinny to fit in, we don’t have to drink to be cool, we don’t have to do what media tells us to be a ‘teenager’.
I have plenty of loyal friends and my life is really fun and I don’t follow these stupid rules of society.
If you don’t like me because you think I’m ugly, so what? If you avoid me because you think I’m weird, so what? If you don’t think I’m cool enough to hang out with, so what? I don’t need you in my life anyway.
See what I mean?
I’ve never thought of this before for some reason…
posted 11 months ago with 3 notes
When looking at life, doesn’t all the little trivial crap seem unimportant to you?
Like what people think of you, like the fact that you have a different color skin, like the things we complain about every day such as getting up early or the little things that people do that may annoy you? Or the fact that someone is gay or straight or a slut or a virgin? Or that he’s a freak or she’s a jerk? Or that he is a loser or she is fat?
Doesn’t gossip, judging, seem like a waste of breathe, a waste of time, a waste of excitement?
Because all that doesn’t matter to me.. life is so much more than all that.
I believe the memories we makes, the impacts and footprints we leave are the most important.
I think looking at the stars each night, reading good books, smiling at others, being a leader, helping less fortunate, realizing your family only wants the best for you, making everyday count, knowing your friends as well as you know yourself….
I think those are some of the most important things in life. The things that will last forever.
posted 11 months ago with 12 notes
Everytime I am alone to think, I realize how messed up human beings have made this world.
Divided ourselves.. I get to stuff myself with food every night, sleep in a nice cozy bed, have a computer. Others may starve tonight. Others are freezing on the streets. And others may not even have concrete streets.
But I also think of the good people out there; the good ones who want to do something, but don’t know where to start.
There are so many problems.. I think the main problem is one word. Selfishness. Being selfish.
That’s our whole world. We want, we take.
If I could change anything in this world, I would change the human nature of being selfish.
posted 1 year ago with 4 notes
Just watched a very informative film on North Korea..
I had no idea that there are still American soldiers there, at this very moment, protecting the border.
I had no idea that every citizen is forced to honor their leader as a god and say that he has solved everything.
I had no idea that they have consentration camps for people who ever question or complain.. and for the families of these people also who said nothing.
I never knew about all this corruption in the world.. ever since I started high school, it seems like the real world has been showing itself to me. And I don’t like it.
I wish I could help those people.. I wish I could end the leader corruption and their famines due to the government.
I hate being able to do nothing for these people. So I will pray for them.
posted 1 year ago with 2 notes
I don’t understand why we treat stars like they are gods…
we follow them around with cameras.
Let me say that again. We follow them around with cameras.
We read, watch, see their every move, their every mistake, their life.
But why? Why is this normal to us?
We treat them as if they don’t have a soul. As if our words can’t touch them, can’t hurt them.
We treat them like they are better, like they deserve more, but yet we treat them like dirt by revealing their every mistake and judging them.
Our society has brought us to believe that stars aren’t human.
That. stars. aren’t. human.
But they are. In fact, they are just as human as you or me.
They think, they feel, they are sad, they are happy.
Yet we refuse to believe it…
posted 1 year ago with 9 notes
that many, many people in other countries
don’t even have floors in their home,
struggle with getting enough food,
don’t have Iphones, computers, TV’s so on,
or are ruled by terrible governments.
You also realize how blessed, but spoiled we are.
Why were we lucky enough to be born on the top?
posted 1 year ago with 14 notes